HeyJaredEspresso
Stand Up Comedian Benedict Polizzi gives listeners horrendous advice
- Indexed episodes, last 90 days
- 6
- Latest publication
- Sep 21, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 9, 2026
Latest episodes
Starter Jacket... Instant BFF's | How'd You Meet Your Best Friend? | Espresso Pod 437 (opens the original)
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How did you actually meet your best friend? If they weren't wearing a starter jacket or you didn't absolutely hate them you're not actual friends babe 👯 ------------------------------------------------- Send this to your homies to support the pod! https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/ 💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX 🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/ ---------------------------------------
The Teacher With A Pet Flea In A Locket (Weird Substitute Teachers) (opens the original)
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You haven't truly had an eating disorder until you eat ten bunless Big Macs with a knife and fork 😙 Today we remember why high school kids are the most ruthless people on earth and why putting Pepto-Bismol in your math teacher's coffee is rat tail kid activity. Don't act like you wouldn't sign up for a government-funded week of going back to high school at age 35 just so you can cater lunch from Qdoba and depants your bois in the hallway 😎 Love ya fam see ya sunday🫡 -----------------------------
College QB I kissed at A Party Freshman Year ily? (Missed Connections) (opens the original)
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Today we go through the ones who got away 💔 it can be the blonde girl who wanted you on your business trip or literally when the timberwolves passed on steph curry 😭 is it the time you missed the Schwan's Ice cream truck outside? Or when the college QB kissed you at a party freshman year and never saw his sexy ahhh again? If you fumbled your first kiss bc your homies kept calling you about your fantasy football draft it's not a missed connection it just means your for the boiiis😏 Love you fam ☕️
5 grilled cheeses every day from Menards (What'd u get caught stealing?)| Espresso Pod 431 (opens the original)
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If u don't shave your best friend's leg with your bare foot while sleeping next to them are you even friends? What if I told you I stole 72 egg whites out of a Whole Foods soup container and got cornered by self-checkout security lady? We break down how to run an illicit grocery twist-tie bead ring syndicate at a summer daycare and hold back the urge from buying a black-market Barney VHS all while pretending we didn't HOUSE five stolen grilled cheese sandwiches in the Menards break room. KISS ME
Green Ketchup Meatloaf (Best Meal Your Mom Made You) (opens the original)
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The Fam put on a CLINIC with voice msgs this week 🫡 I'm still trying to decide if eating green ketchup meatloaf makes you a complete lunatic or a straight up visionary. BTW THIS IS A PRO PEAS PODCAST🫛 IF YOU DON'T LIKE PEAS GTFO. Quick question you tryna dig holes in an empty lot sometime? Luh U💕 ------------------------------------------------- Send this to your homies to support the pod! https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/ 💕 WATCH BEN
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