HeyJared"Eros and Essence: Embracing Sexual and Spiritual Wholeness"
Combining my 40+ year study of A Course in Miracles and other spiritual disciplines, plus my 19-year career teaching the Psychology of Sexual Behavior
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- 11
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- Sep 29, 2026
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- Jul 19, 2026
Latest issues
What Are You Into? (opens the original)
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Our latest video continues the discussion begun in my last Substack post: What is attraction? One of our main takeaways is that culture plays a significant role in whom we find attractive and which features draw our attention.I talked about my attraction to each of my two husbands. My first husband was blond and blue-eyed, with a tan and a V-shaped upper body—broad shoulders and narrow hips. Our marriage lasted 12 years. My second husband was 22 years older, with white hair, a slender upper body
What Makes Someone Attractive? (opens the original)
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I was attracted to my first husband immediately. He was blond, blue-eyed, with a tan, broad shoulders, and a narrow waist. We were married for 12 years.My second husband was 22 years older than I was. He had white hair, narrow shoulders, hazel eyes, and pale skin. I was not sexually or romantically attracted to him immediately. But he was the smartest man I had ever met. I was attracted to his brains. We were married for 37 years.We like to say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But beau
Whatever Happened to Desire? (opens the original)
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Years ago, I was teaching about the hypothalamus in one of my psychology classes. The hypothalamus helps regulate many of the body’s basic physiological and motivational processes, including sexual behavior. When I asked my students what the hypothalamus does, one student answered, “It regulates desire.”I laughed at her choice of the word desire to describe a biological process so essential to reproduction.I immediately thought of the two iguanas I once spotted on the lawn beside my house, busil
Are the Men Alright? (opens the original)
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Men’s status has been much more in the news lately, along with the idea that American men aren’t “real men” anymore. They need to bulk up. They need more testosterone.Precarious manhood theory is based on the idea that manhood is socially conferred. Becoming a man is not simply determined by biology. A boy has to demonstrate that he is a man, and other people have to recognize him as one. Because manhood is socially conferred, it can also be lost.At the same time, we are hearing more about the g
Sex: Ecstatic, Erotic, or Ordinary (opens the original)
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Recently, I remembered a blog I read back in 2007. The writer said that she had relegated herself to having sex without love. Although she wanted to find love and thought love was great, she didn’t want a lack of love to keep her from having sex.Her writing reminded me of a theme I’ve written about before: sex without love is limited and limiting. Sex without love is what I call ordinary sex.Ordinary sex can take place in long-term relationships. It happens when spouses forget that they love eac
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