HeyJaredEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery
Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholic's Anonymous, wrote in 1952, "If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root some unhealthy dependence and its consequent demand." Wilson suggested that if we could identify and continually surrender these…
- Indexed episodes, last 90 days
- 8
- Latest publication
- Sep 29, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 6, 2026
Latest episodes
Responsibility Over Blame (opens the original)
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Thom’s Nutshell: Serious condition: I’ll be okay as soon as that thing that happened to me didn’t happen to me. There’s a difference between blame and responsibility. Blame comes from “low differentiation,” or a low level of emotional maturity. It’s a sign of where we’re stuck in our development-fused with our environments. Taking responsibility, conversely, empowers us. It gives us more possibilities, brings in enthusiasm and zeal. We’re working towards self-support, where we act for ourselves
“Waking Up Is a Process” with Daniel Fulop-Furlano (opens the original)
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Thom’s Nutshell: "Self-denial results in dependence. Self-acceptance creates independence." Waking up is a process, not an event. A road back to our true lost selves. Daniel Fulop-Furlano joins Allen to talk about his journey towards emotional sobriety, which began with the “Divided Sky” rehab retreat in Ludlow, Vermont. Dan’s book, “Sincerely, Delusional,” is a testament to both the sincerity of his delusion (which we also call “sleepwalking”), and the capacity, beginning with an earnest asking
Learning to Live and Love Differently (opens the original)
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Thom’s Nutshell: "Are you solving the problems you want to solve, or the problems you think you are supposed to solve?" With emotional sobriety comes a commitment to being honest and authentic with each other and especially ourselves in order to live “congruently.” In line with our values, not oppositional to our natures. This necessitates becoming aware of the unreasonable expectations and unenforceable rules so we can disentangle from them. Acceptance of those is the key part of living and lov
Living in the Pause (opens the original)
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Thom’s Nutshell: Challenge your low self esteem and surprise yourself (I did). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which was developed in the 60’s by Aaron Beck, dovetails nicely with some of Bill W.’s ideas. Rooted in observing, not denying, but recognizing “I’m becoming defensive “, “I’m taking this personally,” etc. Thom, Patrick, and Joe C. talk cognition before reaction and living in the pause. Our music is provided by the great southern artist Jefferson Ross. Learn more about Jefferson at
Responsibility “To” Others, Not “For” Them (opens the original)
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Thom’s Nutshell: Don’t make the mistake of thinking you have no impact in this world of ours. You do. Whether from a pebble or a giant rock, we’re all leaving ripples in the pond. Allen, Thom, and Patrick discuss the illusion of separateness permeating our human bonds. Emotional sobriety can resolve the crises caused by looking towards other people to validate our existence when we don’t think we matter. Being responsible to others is accepting responsibility to ourselves. Thom and Allen discuss
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