HeyJaredEllis’s Substack
I will be posting on a variety of topics, as they come to mind. I surely will not be disciplined enough for a regular column - some will be old essays, published elsewhere, and some new material.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
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- Aug 14, 2026
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- Aug 14, 2026
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Over a Plate of Mussels: How Diana Met Robert (opens the original)
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And then he said, “If your pipes ever get blocked, don’tcall a plumber.Call me.”And one day it was winter, and mypipes were frozen, and he cameover.I called.But he didn’t just slide under my house,oh no, he pulled outthese overalls and these rubber boots,and said, “Slip these on. I’m not goingunder therealone.”And so we crawledthrough the mudunder my house.It wasa littlescary,dark,all that weight above me,but I had on myrubber bootsa
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