HeyJaredDr. Gary Salyer
Dr. Gary Salyer is a relationship mentor, speaker, and author of Safe to Love Again. He helps individuals and couples heal attachment wounds and create secure, lasting love—relationships that feel safe, passionate, and like home. garysalyer.com
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 11
- Latest publication
- Sep 22, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Jul 7, 2026
Latest issues
Can You Trust What Your Brain Tells You About Love? (opens the original)
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How old relational pain creates a filter that turns yesterday's fear into today's "evidence"—and how to retrain it to see what is actually here now.Maybe you keep gathering evidence that someone you love, or someone you're just getting close to, will eventually let you down. Or maybe you're the one who keeps showing up, and it never seems to be enough to be believed.Why?Your brain doesn't just remember your past. It uses it to decide what counts as evidence in your present.In this episode, I wal
Can AI Love You? The Truth About AI Companionship (opens the original)
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It is late, and you are hurting. Something happened with your partner, or your mother, or the new person in your life that you cannot stop thinking about, and the ache in your chest needs somewhere to go.So, you open Claude or ChatGPT and begin to type. After all, your friends are asleep. Within seconds, a calm and articulate voice reflects your feelings back to you with a precision few humans have ever managed.It does not interrupt you. It does not get defensive. Nor does it glance away or chan
Why Your Past Doesn't Have to Feel Like It Does (opens the original)
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You know the old story is over. You've done the work, read the books, maybe even sat with a therapist for years. And yet the same feeling still shows up — the pulling back, the bracing for rejection, the sense that you're too much or not enough — the moment someone gets close.Why does understanding a pattern perfectly still leave you running it?Because the feelings of old memories underneath our patterns don't change when we merely understand them. And those feelings are running the show, not ou
Is AI Giving You a “Me” Answer for a “We” Problem? (opens the original)
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Author’s note: Barry and Ingrid are a composite couple. Identifying details have been changed, and their story draws on recurring patterns I have encountered across many couples in my work.Barry and Ingrid came to me to resolve their issues as a couple. One of their big stalemates was that he, being an engineer, was committed to using a “reasonable approach” in all their discussions. So, what do you think her issue was? She was tired of being treated as a problem to fix, without his acknowledgin
Do Your Relationships Feel Like Love—or Just Familiar? (opens the original)
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Whether you're getting to know someone new or have loved the same partner for years, how can you tell whether what you're feeling is secure love or just something familiar?Old emotional experiences can quietly become your brain's reference point for love. They can lead you to over-give, settle for less, pull away from someone trustworthy, or feel suspicious when healthy love finally arrives.Why?Because your brain may be comparing the relationship in front of you to an emotional soundtrack record
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