HeyJaredDelusional Bitch Juice
Why waste time pretending you don’t care about celebrity drama, reality TV meltdowns, and chaotic fashion trends? We fully embrace being delusional, dramatic, and way too invested—so you don’t have to do it alone.
- Indexed episodes, last 90 days
- 10
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- Sep 22, 2026
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- Jul 8, 2026
Latest episodes
Mabon: The Kidnapped Baby Behind the Fall Equinox (opens the original)
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The modern Pagan name for the fall equinox belongs to a Welsh man who was kidnapped when he was three nights old, imprisoned for an unknown length of time, and rescued only because one of King Arthur's impossible tasks required him to handle a magical hunting dog. In 1974, a Pagan writer named Aidan Kelly needed a name for the autumn equinox. He built an argument for one — running through the Eleusinian Mysteries, Demeter and Persephone, a baby held in a fire, Abraham and Isaac — and landed on M
The Real Witchcraft Behind Practical Magic: What TikTok Got Wrong (opens the original)
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When did Practical Magic stop being a movie and start becoming witch lore? The 1998 film gave us the Owens house, rosemary by the garden gate, midnight margaritas, family grimoires, suspiciously perfect hair, and enough cozy witch imagery to fuel Pinterest for approximately three lifetimes. But a lot of what we now associate with the Practical Magic version of witchcraft wasn't an ancient tradition. It was fiction. In this episode of Delusional Witch Juice , we're getting into how a box-office f
Why Witches Won't Make Moon Water on a Lunar Eclipse (opens the original)
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Why is regular full-moon water considered magical, but eclipse water is treated like the LaCroix of chaos? In this episode of Delusional Witch Stews, Heather investigates where our beliefs about full moons, moon water, and “chaotic eclipse energy” actually come from. We’re talking lunar madness, historically inaccurate werewolves, modern Wiccan esbats, celestial dragons, moon-eating jaguars, Mesopotamian eclipse omens, and the deeply inconvenient question: should you make eclipse water or not? T
The Strange History of Fortune Telling: From Royal Astrologers to Zoltar (opens the original)
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This week on Delusional Witch Juice, I discuss the real history of fortune telling and how the creepy crystal ball fortune teller is way younger than you think. From ancient Chinese oracle bones and Mesopotamian diviners to Queen Elizabeth I’s astrologer John Dee and a celebrity astrologer consulting America’s financial elite, predicting the future was once serious business. Plus the history of scrying, why tarot cards were originally a game, how the Romani fortune teller stereotype developed, t
August 12 Is Cosmic Chaos: Eclipse, Planets & Perseids (opens the original)
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This week on Delusional Witch Juice, I discuss why August 12 is being called cosmic chaos —and whether somebody actually left the Lion’s Gate Portal open. From a six-planet parade and New Moon in Leo to a total solar eclipse and perfectly timed Perseid meteor shower, the celestial guest list is much messier than the internet claims. Plus ancient Mesopotamian substitute kings, the gardener who inherited a throne after the real king died from hot soup, the fiery Tears of Saint Lawrence, and what p
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