HeyJaredDear Catastrophe Witness
Queer human un-bewildering the world through words and music. Occasionally coinciding with reality.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 3
- Latest publication
- Sep 8, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Aug 7, 2026
Latest issues
Kent Hrbek Is Feeling Restless (opens the original)
Read excerpt
This is the most bonkers poem.I wrote it in the early morning hours of May 28, 2025. I’ve never written anything remotely like it before or since. I woke up at 3:00 AM with words in my mouth that pressed hard against my teeth. For no discernible reason, I was thinking intently of Kent Hrbek. If you don’t know of him (and why should you), Kent Hrbek (pronounced HUR-bek) was the first baseman for the Minnesota Twins from 1981-1994. My father, a huge baseball fan, listened to Twins games on KYNT ev
How to Malinger Successfully as a Child (opens the original)
Read excerpt
Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedYou don’t know how to fake being sick. Let me show you how to do it right. You should trust me. Here's how I became an expert: on 1977 school mornings I held the thermometer tip against the lightbulb of the lamp next to my bed until the mercury's silver line rose to 102 degrees or higher. This was an effective way of tricking my mom into worrying I was sick so she would let me stay home from school. Sometimes, it wasn't s
What Follows Are Like Dreams of Things That Are Real (opens the original)
Read excerpt
<img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="358" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7BWg!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9a068b7a-1ac9-4d9b-9c73-dad9cf64ef55_541x358.jpeg"
Publishing over time
Last 90 days. Choose a month to open its work.
Recurring subjects
Named in the text we hold. One piece can cover several.
Audience
No verified audience measurement yet.
About this data
Counts cover the work we have indexed. Tone needs enough text and a confident classification. Excerpts and episode notes are not full articles or transcripts.
Identity or attribution wrong? Suggest a correction.