HeyJaredCult of Friday
Fueled by curiosity, anxiety, and hope that you’ll like me even though no worries if not! Here you’ll find (very) short and (hopefully) funny essays twice a month-ish with observations of adulthood and surviving late-stage capitalism with a MFA in clown.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 7
- Latest publication
- Sep 28, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 6, 2026
Latest issues
I am a United Statesian (opens the original)
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I’m currently in Iceland for a once-in-a-lifetime trip—ten days to drive around the country on the ring road. I’ve been writing plenty: notes app observations, short missives, travelogue-style day end summaries, but I am not focused on a substack-style nugget, which means this post is a short dispatch; a teaser of what’s running through my brain as I explore this beautiful place.Subscribe for missives!<input class="email-in
Relaxation or Bonus Anxiety? (opens the original)
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Hobbies are supposed to be fun, relaxing, and a way to destress from your regular life. As a millennial, this is an affront to all the things I hold dear: Anxiety, depression, and obsession.My main hobby, my ride or die, my blood oath-sworn-babe is knitting. And why would I knit to relax when I could choose to create bonus anxiety from knitting to distract me from my regular anxiety from life? I actively choose to place similar pressures of my day job and my writing practice upon my favorite rec
Analog Week, digitized (opens the original)
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On Saturday, I returned from spending five days and four nights in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness, a stunning lake-scape in northern Minnesota. I hadn’t been camping in over a decade, but more notably, I hadn’t been without my morning writing routine in six years.<a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!zC49!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F141e9708-426c-4ed
My Babysitter in an iPhone (opens the original)
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Discipline is important for writers and my phone makes discipline hard on purpose. Designed to steal my attention, it’s very good at its job. I could get a brick, leave it in another room, or be a better person with more restraint, but instead, I hired my phone to do a job so I can do mine.I’ve been making time lapses of my writing time. So many time lapses of me, sitting in front of my laptop. Staring at my screen. Typing at my screen. Screaming/crying/throwing up at my screen.(Not shown: throw
I Won the Cool Friends Lottery and I'm Sharing My Spoils (opens the original)
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If they:Split their time between living on a little sail boat on the Hudson river and creating genre-defying part-theater/part-games from their basement studio on Massachusetts… Give unsolicited but very welcome garden updates…Play your detached and mostly absent Dad grilling you some corn on instagram stories…Has once been one of one hundred Andre Agassis for a flash mob…That’s not a cool character in an A24 movie, that’s Nicole Orabona!<div cl
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