CGCherie Gilmour

1. Article · Aug 27, 2026 · Cherie Gilmour

   I bought my seven-year-old daughter a squishy toy. Now, she’s fluent in therapy-speak (opens the original)

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   You have reached your maximum number of saved items. Remove items from your saved list to add more. Nothing says “modern parenting” like watching your seven-year-old’s heart break over an exploded squishy full of radioactive goo. I finally caved and bought my daughter a “dumpling squishy” from the $2 shop. You know, the viral fidget toys keeping Border Force busy. (Note: they’re not $2. Small ones are $8. Large ones are obscenely pushing $45 and are kept behind the counter like ciggies.) Her joy

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2. Article · Aug 12, 2026 · Cherie Gilmour

   Now that we’ve come to our census, let’s have a NAPLAN for grown-ups (opens the original)

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   You have reached your maximum number of saved items. Remove items from your saved list to add more. Well done, Australia. We managed to pull together on a wintry Tuesday night to declare, in the national census, our sexual identities and whether we’re practising or nominal Jedis. Now that we’ve proven our ability to answer mildly invasive questions under bureaucratic pressure, it seems logical to expand the project into tracking our emotional and social intelligence. An adults-only NAPLAN, anyon

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