HeyJaredChecking Out
Run-ons, rants, and ramblings of an elder millennial who recently retired from trying to figure it out.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 9
- Latest publication
- Sep 26, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 31, 2026
Latest issues
Caught me a Merlin (opens the original)
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9/21 8:35First night with our baby in his crib and I have no idea what’s in store for us but I know a few things to be true: I’m sick of sleeping on my couch, I’m done with not sleeping next to my husband, and for god sakes I still have no idea wtf I’m doing and that’s okay. Each family member was taken out by the pre-k sickness this weekend starting with me on Saturday with a fever and a missed girls dinner (womp womp). So in addition to spending the night on the couch I spent the day as well i
I’ve decided I’m now a nocturnal animal (opens the original)
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9/15 1:11amKicked off the week with a little vet visit for Raney bc homegirl woke up looking like Eliasue and using anything she could find as a scratching post. If it’s not a doc appt for one of the humans might as well be for the dog. After multiple doses of Benadryl and an allergy shot in the ass later, she back to her emotionally support/needy underbite self (thank god bc I need her). 9/16 2:10amOne of the strangest things about sleep deprivation is that during the day, you
How mom got her groove back…sorta? (opens the original)
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9/8 2:31pmToday was a good day and now I’m sitting in the waiting room of Cardiovascular Imagining to get and up close and personal picture of my heart. This is the last place I want to be not because I’m so so sick of medical buildings but bc it’s an absolutely perfect Fall day and id rather be at the park or the farm or on my porch or folding laundry wishing I was outside or labeling Stevie’s stuff for school tomorrow bc god forbid I do something ahead of time. But atleast I already got to wor
Time is a big ol biotch. (opens the original)
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9/1 1:30amAfter a weekend at me parents with both kids, the dog, and my sister and niece, that ended in a near panic attack but filled my cup beyond measure (because grandparents are truly the best, have I said that?) I’m back on my bullshit of shift sleeping on the sofa and restraining myself from scrolling substack at all hours of the night because if I see one more “I avoided THIS one thing and it made me the best mom ever” i might just go back to IG. There’s something insanely special about
panic! in moms brain (opens the original)
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8/24 2:00pmHad a beautiful, calmly sip on rose, eat meats and cheeses, poolside day with some of my favorite humans yesterday and my lord was it refreshing especially when they were very much “give me the baby” without a second thought or trouble. This morning though, was a doozy not because of the Rose but because little dude decided to have another ‘I want to wake up and hang out with mom every hour’ type of night which makes me exhausted, short fused, and just not good so naturally I decided
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