HeyJaredCharlotte's Shorts
Most people keep their darkest impulses in a locked drawer. We don't. Short works of fiction written by Charlotte Dean. Now a live comedy show!
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 7
- Latest publication
- Sep 29, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 7, 2026
Latest issues
Robby The Jail Guard (opens the original)
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Dear Brian,Have you ever been in love?I know we’re married, but this is different.See, the thing about being in prison is you make these intense connections with people and… look, I know you don’t believe me and Enzo are gonna make it as a couple, but this isn’t just jail love, Brian. It’s outside of jail love too.it’s hard to explain to someone like you, but Enzo makes me feel like I’m his whole world. It’s like he wants to climb inside of me and wear me around.</s
Not My Soulmate After All (opens the original)
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Hello again Craigslist Family. I have exciting news! Remember the mystery man from the pupusa line? Well, thanks to you, I actually found him!Shoutout to Dr. Brian Cornwall from Pomona. He’s a therapist and he recognized the description I gave. Apparently- it’s one of his patients!The man’s name is Lucas Filmore. He is clinically depressed and struggles with… staying alive. He’s on… Lexapro I think? It’s a pretty high dose and it is helping. Dr. Cornwall says he is stable. For now<s
Summer Break (opens the original)
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Hey Dr. Cornwall. Where were you last week?No! Kidnapped? Really? You?My summer’s going ok. I’m behind in algebra so dad sent me to math camp.Things were going fine until my counselor; Mallory took away my iPad. She saw my browser history and freaked out. She told dad I was a little psychopath.Dad said “relax Mallory, he’s a teenager. He’s curious about sex.”Mallory said “no. Porn is about power. It’s not about <stron
Charlotte's Shorts LIVE @ The Groundlings (opens the original)
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Don’t miss this ALL STAR CAST featuring: Jordan Black, Ashley Bell, Chris Kleckner, Sarah Baker, Alex Bonifer, Mitch Silpa, Bridget Sienna and Julia Sweeney!August 11th, 8pm at The Groundlings Main StageTICKETS<div class="image2-in
It's Not Like You're My Husband (opens the original)
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Dear Enzo,I’m not saying we should break up, but things do feel different now that I’m out of jail and you’re not.I never see you anymore!You know, when we became cellmates, I was just so wrapped up in you. It didn’t occur to me that even after we fell for each other you’d still have to finish your sentence. That feels unfair.Because Enzo- Your sentence is really long.And honestly- It would be even longer if the warden knew what you’ve been up to.<span
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