HeyJaredCaffeine & Chaos
Caffeine & Chaos explores the messy, ironic, and unavoidable truths of life, creativity, and the human mind.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 6
- Latest publication
- Sep 30, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Sep 22, 2026
Latest issues
My Writing Is a Fetishist Hooligan, and It Won't Work for Your Fucking Spare Change (opens the original)
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Let me introduce you to my writing. It has no address, no pension plan, and zero respect for your onboarding funnel.It sleeps wherever a sentence offers a dry corner, eats what the day throws out behind the restaurant, and picks fights with anything that looks too clean.It's a hooligan.<
You're Not a Writer Just Because You Have a Substack (opens the original)
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Congratulations. You've published a newsletter, therefore you're a writer.<img alt="silver MacBook showing application" class="sizing-normal" height="3840" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1504691342899-4d92b50853e1?cro
How the Hell Do You Actually Publish a Book? (opens the original)
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You're eight chapters into your manuscript and somehow you've already read eleven contradictory articles about publishing. One says get an agent. Another says agents are a dying institution.A third says skip all of it and self-publish. A guy on TikTok says he made $40,000 in three weeks and now sells a course about it.<a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" href="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1457369804613-52c61a468e7d?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wzMDAzMzh8MHwxfHNlYXJ
The Day You Stop Explaining Yourself (opens the original)
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The message was eleven lines long by the time I stopped to reread it.Then nine.Then, for a while, it sat at three, with everything else folded into a parenthesis I kept opening and closing, unsure how much of myself I was willing to defend before midnight.<so
Nobody's Stupid Anymore (Except Me) (opens the original)
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Scroll for five minutes and you'll find out everybody and their dog has cracked the code.<img alt="white and black card on black surface" class="sizing-normal" height="4255" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1615229478517-24304f58105d?crop=
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