HeyJaredAmanda’s Substack
Writings for and about Ula. Her life, before and after. Creating space to continue my daughter's legacy and fight for her. She should still be here. LLU
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 13
- Latest publication
- Sep 30, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Aug 6, 2026
Latest issues
A sign! (opens the original)
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My son turned sixteen over the weekend. He is now the age my daughter last was. The same age as she will be forever remembered. I cried all day on his birthday. I cried when I woke up and at work. My sunglasses hiding my tears in an attempt to mask any contortions my face might make. Not for anyone else but me. I didn’t need or want the attention. And yet I kept telling people that Kai had turned sixteen. Wanting to celebrate him. But a part of me needing to share that ugly and sad truth. A coll
Funny girl. (opens the original)
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My daughter was a very funny girl. Silly and hilarious. She loved making others laugh and did so much to create a fun environment where others felt included.She gets that from me. My son is like that too. In a quieter more subtle way. A bit more the prankster that one. And something of a class clown. There has been something in our wee little family that likes to brighten up others. We relish in making others smile and look to find laughter in difficult situations. The crankier the other, the mo
Winners and losers. (opens the original)
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I raised my daughter to be strong. To be friendly. And to be bold. To think for herself and to speak her mind. She played sports, not because she was driven necessarily, but because I thought it was important for her to learn the skills embedded in the game. Team building, community, leadership, how to win and how to lose and physical activity. She loved hockey at the community level and played soccer more competitively. It didn’t stick but I’m glad she tried. She always tried. And she knew how
Smart, but scattered. (opens the original)
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School’s returning in a few short days. Teachers have headed back to their classrooms and communities for professional development due to the extra long summer.I’ve spent two afternoons rearranging my new assignments and organizing my new school laptop. Feeling like a fresh start and ready to take it all on. My heart is full for the first time since my daughter died. As full as it can be. I’m ready to tackle new experiences and new learning. I’m ready for anything.After the summer of tennis and
Somebody’s someone. (opens the original)
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August 31st marks International Overdose Awareness Day. Over the last two years or so I have been advocating and seeking justice for my little big woman. But this year I marked the occasion in a quiet way. Away from the all of the folk who continue and grieve and fight for those that should still be here. And for those still hanging on.Overdose does not discriminate. What happened to Ula could have happened to anyone’s kid. And continues to happen to other people’s children. I don’t know my next
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