HeyJaredAlison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend!
I'm currently writing about stuff I'm supposed to keep secret
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 4
- Latest publication
- Sep 12, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 12, 2026
Latest issues
I Don’t Want to Talk About Lindsay Clancy (opens the original)
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<img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="610" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Jk3T!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa8739963-345b-4105-9f97-08f3009f8006_860x610.heic"
The Second Are Gold (opens the original)
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The older I get, the more I regard my twenties with shame and embarrassment. I know this is not the goal and I actively try to have compassion for the idiot I was, but it’s not easy. I was entitled, arrogant, defensive, petty, and I didn’t groom my pubic hair. That alone is not really a big deal but the thing is, for whatever reason, I didn’t realize that everyone else was weed wacking. Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend! is a reader-supported publication. To receive new po
My Son Blew Chunks at The Phantom of The Opera (opens the original)
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<img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="500" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dfj_!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F11cdbb38-4bf8-4897-8e9f-ec50193774c0_500x500.heic"
Forever The Ingenue (opens the original)
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When I finally got pregnant at 41, after my husband and I did two grueling years of IVF and countless procedures to whip my uncooperative reproductive system into shape, there was a part of me that still imagined myself as a teenager. “Such a shame, pregnant at 41 with her whole life ahead of her,” I thought to myself, dramatically, as I dropped a pile of pregnancy tests on the conveyer belt at CVS.Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend! is a reader-supported publication. To receive
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