HeyJaredAlexandra Petri
- Indexed articles, last 90 days
- 9
- Latest publication
- Sep 17, 2026
- Outlet visibility, for The Atlantic
- Top 10K sites
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 9, 2026
Latest articles
Pay No Attention to the Russian Oligarch at My Wedding Weekend (opens the original)
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Welcome to our wedding weekend! It’s going to be a beautiful occasion, followed by an intimate gathering of family, dear friends, and one Russian oligarch nobody knows who will be handed the bill afterward. The bride will wear white, the groom will wear white, and the Russian oligarch nobody knows will wear camouflage in case someone tries to take a picture of him and ProPublica finds out. We will try to pass him off as a tropical plant, or suggest that he was doing close-up magic. In a sense, h
A Recap of a Surreal Midterm Convention (opens the original)
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If only the GOP midterm convention succeeds in its aim of electing Donald Trump president, things will get a lot better in this country. Isn’t he already president? Hush! At the Unprecedented (But Very President-ed) Republican Midterm Convention, we reject such trivial objections! “I know many of you are still struggling thanks to Joe Biden and the Democrats,” said Richard Hudson, the National Republican Committee chair. You have your orders: Imagine that Donald Trump is on the ballot, because i
An Alien Scholar’s Notes on Trump’s Washington (opens the original)
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We’ll start this conference looking back on 2026 Washington Architecture by being honest: We have no idea what happened here. The snapshot of this planet that my comrades and I managed to obtain on our brief visit left us, if anything, more confused about Earth than we had been before. What follows are theories only. All we know of 21st-century human political figure Donald J. Trump is what we can guess from the architectural record and a few bits of digital evidence. (Due to a misunderstanding,
The Recalled-Food Show With RFK Jr. (opens the original)
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Hi! I am your Senate-confirmed secretary of Health and Human Services, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., and don’t worry, the worm in my brain has been dead for a long time. Forget The Real Food Show, the cooking show that I really do host on HHS.gov. Welcome to The Recalled-Food Show, the cooking show America deserves. Summer is coming to an end! When I think of summer food, I think about having your falcon bring you a roadkill slider, but I’m told others think salad and blueberries. So I thought I would
Everything Is Called America Now (opens the original)
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Sign up for our newsletter about national security here. “If you think about it, we have a gulf, and we have a lake. Now all we need is an ocean.” — President Trump, declaring Lake Ontario “Lake America” via executive order The year is 2027. Gas costs $83 a gallon, and lettuce is at war with us. However, every location on every map is now labeled America. And everything else is named Trump. Sometimes for fun we hike from the Trump Airport to the other Trump Airport to the other Trump Airport. (T
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Top 10K sites
For The Atlantic, the outlet · Measured Aug 1, 2026
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