HeyJaredAfter Obedience: When Freedom Doesn’t Feel Like Freedom
Rebuilding life after high-control systems—when freedom didn’t make things easier.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 9
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- Sep 20, 2026
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- Jul 3, 2026
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But You Did It Monday (opens the original)
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You are welcome to show up at my house any time (unless you’re a vampire) and someone will be awake. But when you glance to the right, into the living room, please expect to see between two and seven laundry baskets heaped with clean clothes. They aren’t waiting to be folded, exactly. Mostly they’re waiting to be worn. Or waiting for the day my husband gets frustrated enough to fold it himself or task one of our adult children with tackling the pile and making it disappear.Every night the kids d
The Perfectionists Who Can't Get Their Shit Together (opens the original)
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Years ago, church service found me sorting through the nonsense piles of a hoarded home in my neighborhood. I pulled handful after handful of miscellany out of a kitchen drawer. Baggies, twist ties, flashlights, batteries, sticky notes, eating utensils, writing utensils, charging cords, hair elastics, hair clips, tiny rubber bands, all-but-empty tape rolls, fruit snacks, fly paper, pen caps, dice, single earrings... Many items were clumped together with a brownish mystery substance. All crammed
Says Who? (opens the original)
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Not the first time, I finished a project the other day and looked at the clock. The kids were getting out of school soon. Perfect timing. I could pick them up. My son didn’t need to do it.Not that he had anything more pressing to do. In fact, school pickup is his assigned job. And it’s not that I was finished working. I’m still catching up from the summer and am, in fact, climbing out from beneath a pile of waiting projects.So, why, then was I ready to pack up my laptop and head for the school?
Is It a System? Or Is It Just Mom? (opens the original)
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I’m an ADHD Coach. My job is to help people externalize their executive functioning. In English: we take the strain of remembering all the things you have to do, being on time, getting motivated, off your brain and we build those things into your environment instead. So they just kind of happen to you. We revise the system. Not the person. Because I believe you are not the problem. Your systems are. Your environment is.But my kids just started school and I find myself in the predictable place of
Your Brain Isn’t Procrastinating. It’s Waiting. (opens the original)
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Growing up in the church you always knew what came next. You had seminary at six. Then school. Youth group. Church. Camp. You got your mission call. Married in the temple. School again. Work. Calling. Work. Calling. Family. Repeat. (Varies based on denomination.)You knew where to be, what to do, when to do it, how to do it. When to start. There was a fi… Read more
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