HeyJaredA Moderate Midwife
Catching babies, raising humans, writing nuanced takes on pregnancy, birth and parenting.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 6
- Latest publication
- Sep 18, 2026
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- Jul 6, 2026
Latest issues
No, I Can’t “Just Get A Babysitter” (opens the original)
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Recently, an exchange in the comments of another post sent me on a trip down memory lane—to an era when I struggled to leave my house to do even the most basic things without paying someone $15 an hour. Attend a dentist appointment. Get a haircut. Go for a jog. Pick up a gallon of milk so the family can eat breakfast tomorrow.These all seem like pretty basic tasks that any normally functioning adult should be able to accomplish, right?But when you’re the parent of young children, and especially
Maybe You Should Have A Third Kid (opens the original)
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Do you have two kids? Do you have enough money for food, shelter, clothes and transportation? Do you still like your spouse? Is everyone reasonably happy and healthy? Are you 40-ish or younger?1 If so, maybe you should have a third kid.I know what you’re thinking: “More pronatalist propaganda, brought to me by Substack.🤮 And now here comes a midwife, worried about job security and trying to drum up business.” But I promise you—this is not that. I actually don’t care how many kids you have. I
Casual Sex Is A Raw Deal For Women (And Probably Men Too) (opens the original)
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An Embarrassing First Kiss StoryAt eighteen, I left for college with an embarrassing stain on my reputation: I had never been kissed. I found this so mortifying that when—at band camp (yes, I am a proud former member of the Band of the Fighting Irish)—a freshman initiation forced us to share our first kiss story, I simply made one up. I claimed that a guy I’d flirted with as a counselor at Catholic Youth Camp had kissed me. In reality, I’d only gone as far as sitting in his lap, and even that wa
Who Gets A Chance At Vaginal Birth? (opens the original)
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Hi friends. Guess what? I was on a podcast! It’s on video too. Please forgive all the “ums” and “likes.” I am not a professional speaker, and every time I said “That’s a great question…" it was translation for “Holy #@%! I did not prepare for that question, so give me ten seconds to manufacture a coherent answer.” Writing is definitely my prefered medium!</div
The Problem With Continuous Electronic Fetal Monitoring (opens the original)
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Thanks to those who inspired me to get to work on this essay by voting for it on my subscriber chat. In particular, I hope the moms who said they are very pregnant have time to read it before the big day! Best of luck to you. AL ✌️❤️👶For pregnancy takes you won’t get anywhere else, subscribe to A Moderate Midwife!<input class="but
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