HeyJaredA Death Doula's Substack
Learn how to reduce fears and anxiety about death and dying with expert knowledge, helpful tips, planning tools, humor, and grace. An experienced death doula/educator helps you achieve a better death someday...and a better life right now.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 13
- Latest publication
- Sep 28, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Aug 20, 2026
Latest issues
Doing Nothing for a Week (opens the original)
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A few years ago, my mother-in-law died. Since we’re Jewish, my family and I began to prepare our home and schedules for a weeklong Shiva in her memory. I converted to Judaism long ago, but this was the first time that we held Shiva in our home. Non-Jewish friends and my Irish-Catholic family members didn’t know quite how to help. Even some of my Jewish relatives had no idea what to do.<a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!vD8j!,f_auto,q_auto:g
Save Your Sorries (opens the original)
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In my 2026 monthly guide to dying well, we’ve set aside September to make meaningful amends. Saying “I’m sorry” is one of the five essential statements people feel the need to make at the end of their lives. So, my suggestion is that we start way before we’re dying. Get it out of the way instead of waiting, especially for those who find it hard to apologize.<a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!HZ1_!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/htt
Deathwork Isn’t Depressing (opens the original)
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Imagine I’m at a social gathering and someone asks me what I do for a living. When I tell them I’m a death doula, they either:RunTell me about their experience with lossGet curious and ask lots of questions, orMumble something like, “Oy, that must be depressing.”<a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Pc7P!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5c3fb26d-4374-4e0b-839f-d598
The Best Ways to Die (opens the original)
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I write and speak a lot about how to live and die well. I rarely write or speak about specific deaths I’ve seen — and that silence is growing heavier. Our death-positive movement, which has grown out of hospice work, home funeral advocacy, and columns like this one, argues that reducing our fears about death begins by looking at it directly. So let’s do that. <a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!suFd!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/h
Eating on Their Own Terms (opens the original)
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A person with cognitive decline will often get to the point when a doctor or nurse gently raises an uncomfortable question: should we keep pushing food, or should we let eating become whatever it can still be — a pleasure, ritual, or small daily act of love?<
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